When asked who you love who is the first person to come to mind ?

Does this person make you happy or just puts on a good show?

Do you plan on spending the rest of your life with this person?

Or does he remind you of your father a lot ?

That’s why you’re with him because you think it’s okay to be abused.

You think it’s okay that he sells drugs cause mommy never taught you it wasn’t okay and daddy did it too. 

You think he gets jealous and controls you because that’s what “love” is.

But that isn’t what it is at all…

You stare into his eyes and wonder why it’s okay he hurts you. Why you allow it to continue to happen day upon day? What does he think about when he’s doing it? Does he actually enjoy doing it or does he really black out?

I questioned if love and care is real.

Well if it is why do you make fun of me when I cry because of you throwing me to the ground?

Why does your family see you freak out knowing what happens behind doors and only makes sure you’re okay ?

And what if I’m not.

Will I just kill myself 

I sit and tend to think…

do people actually care.

Even loved ones.

Do they?

I may never know.

Is this world just full of people who are selfish and care only about themselves.

Or love is still alive.

Care is still alive.

Or maybe love and care are just words.

How do you not check on your daughter every night to ask her where she is.

Or even let her stay out every SINGLE night.

If I had a daughter i’d make sure i gave her a kiss on her forehead and a hug goodnight.

But you.

You just call me and ask me what I’m doing.

I lie.

All the time.

Everyday.

I could be at a boys house.

Or even doing things even worse.

I could be doing drugs.

But I’m not like you mommy.

my word of mouth is “all you need to know”…

I’m not home everyday because what if it’s another night I walk into the bathroom with you passed out on the floor naked, curled up in a ball and the only thing that woke you up was me swinging the door open and it bumping your head.

Or another night you had too much coke and don’t even remember kicking my door down the night before…

But all I question from this is, is love & care a real life thing?